You remind your teen (for the third time) to take out the trash. They sigh dramatically, mutter something under their breath, and stomp into their room, slamming the door. You follow, frustrated, only to be met with: “You never stop nagging me! Just leave me alone!”
Moments like this can feel infuriating and baffling. As a parent, you might think, “Where did that come from? I just asked them to do one thing.”
At Camp Lionheart, we use the iceberg metaphor to help teens — and the adults who love them — understand what’s really happening beneath these moments. Because behavior is just the tip.
What we see are the surface-level reactions: the eye rolls, the sarcasm, the withdrawal, the raised voice. But those are just the visible peaks of something much bigger underneath. Below the surface might be overwhelm from school pressure they haven’t talked about. Maybe a recent friendship blew up and they don’t have the words to explain the sadness. Or maybe they’re carrying shame from forgetting again and quietly wondering if something’s wrong with them.
The truth is, most teens struggle to name what they’re feeling, much less express it constructively. And that’s not because they’re choosing not to, it’s because their brains are still under construction. Neuroscience tells us that the prefrontal cortex — the part responsible for decision-making, planning, and emotional regulation — isn’t fully developed until around age 25. Meanwhile, their amygdala, which governs emotional responses like fear or anger, is in overdrive during adolescence. So when your teen seems reactive or irrational, they’re not just being difficult. Their brain literally hasn’t finished wiring the tools needed to pause, reflect, and respond like an adult.
That’s why Camp Lionheart exists.
At Camp, teens get the chance to slow down and explore what’s going on inside, to move beneath the iceberg. Over the course of a week, they learn how to identify their emotions, talk about them, and choose responses they can feel proud of. They practice real skills, like boundary-setting, conflict resolution, and active listening, through both workshops and play. The goal isn’t to turn them into perfect communicators overnight, but to give them a map for how to understand themselves and others with more compassion and clarity.
We’ve watched teens arrive quiet, shut down, or angry, and leave not only with new friends, but a new sense of self. They begin to say things like, “I didn’t know I was allowed to feel that,” or “I thought I was the only one.” They gain more than confidence, they gain language, tools, and support systems.
If you’re a parent trying to navigate the storm of adolescence, here’s something you can try at home. When an outburst happens, instead of reacting to the behavior, get curious about what might be underneath. Ask, “What’s really going on for you right now?” or “Is there something else you’re feeling that you haven’t said yet?” Sometimes just giving them space to feel seen helps soften the edge of their reaction.
Not every moment will end in a breakthrough. But each moment of connection teaches your teen: I can be heard without being punished. I can feel without falling apart. I can ask for help without shame.
At Camp Lionheart, we don’t expect teens to show up with all the answers. We just give them a place where it’s safe to start asking the right questions.
If your teen is between 13 and 17 and you’re looking for something more than a traditional summer camp — something that blends fun, growth, and real emotional skill-building — Camp Lionheart might be exactly what they need. You can still register your teen for this summer’s camp, but hurry – Camp Lionheart begins July 20!
Camp Lionheart Park Day Saturday, June 29, 2025 from 11 AM – 2 PM at Phelps Park, Winter Park – Pavilion 2. We’d love to share more about what’s possible when we stop reacting to the tip of the iceberg and start connecting to what’s underneath.
