trauma blocking at childhood

Trauma Blocking: When Avoidance Behaviors Take Over Your Life

In the aftermath of a traumatic event, the human psyche often deploys a myriad of defense mechanisms to shield itself from the overwhelming pain and distress. While some of these mechanisms are overt, like talking about the experience or seeking therapy, others operate in the shadows, subtly influencing our behaviors and choices. One such covert mechanism is trauma blocking—a term that encapsulates the myriad ways individuals unconsciously avoid or suppress the haunting memories and emotions tied to their trauma. But what happens when these avoidance behaviors, initially a protective shield, begin to dominate our lives, steering us away from genuine healing and into a maze of further complications? In this exploration of trauma blocking, we delve deep into the heart of these behaviors, understanding their origins, their impact, and the path to reclaiming control.

The Nature of Trauma Blocking

Trauma blocking, at its core, is a psychological defense mechanism. It’s the mind’s attempt to create a barrier between an individual and the painful memories or emotions associated with a traumatic event. While the term might be relatively new to many, the behaviors and patterns it describes have been observed and documented for decades in the realms of psychology and trauma studies.

To truly grasp the nature of trauma blocking, one must first understand the profound impact trauma can have on the psyche. Traumatic events, whether they’re singular occurrences like accidents or prolonged experiences like abuse, can disrupt our sense of safety, trust, and even our understanding of the world around us. The emotional aftermath can be likened to a wound, raw and painful, and just as we might flinch from touching a physical injury, our minds recoil from the emotional pain of trauma.

This is where trauma blocking comes into play. It’s the mind’s way of saying, “This is too painful to confront right now.” Instead of directly addressing the source of the pain, the mind diverts its attention, seeking out distractions or behaviors that offer temporary relief. It’s a survival strategy, a way to keep functioning in the face of overwhelming distress.

However, while the intention behind trauma blocking is self-preservation, the methods can often be self-destructive. Instead of genuine healing, trauma blocking offers a veneer of normalcy, a façade that can crack under pressure. Beneath this surface, the unresolved trauma continues to simmer, influencing our decisions, behaviors, and overall well-being.

In the subsequent sections, we’ll delve into the specific avoidance behaviors that characterize trauma blocking. But it’s essential to remember that at the heart of each behavior is a cry for relief, a longing for healing, and a hope for a future free from the shadows of the past.

Common Avoidance Behaviors in Trauma Blocking

The manifestations of trauma blocking are as varied as the individuals who experience them. These behaviors, often subtle at first, can gradually intensify, becoming deeply ingrained habits that dominate daily life. Recognizing these patterns is the first step towards understanding and addressing the underlying trauma. Here are some of the most common avoidance behaviors associated with trauma blocking:

  1. Digital Distractions: In our modern age, screens offer an easy escape. Excessive use of social media, compulsive scrolling, or binge-watching shows can serve as a digital barrier between an individual and their painful memories.
  2. Substance Use and Abuse: Binge drinking, recreational drug use, or even the misuse of prescription medications can numb the pain temporarily. However, they often lead to a cycle of dependence, further complicating the individual’s emotional landscape.
  3. Emotional Eating: Food can be a source of comfort. Overeating, especially comfort foods, or eating even when not hungry, can be a way to fill an emotional void or distract from traumatic memories.
  4. Overexertion: Whether it’s compulsive exercising, throwing oneself into work, or incessantly taking on new projects, staying perpetually busy can be a way to avoid introspection and the emotions that come with it.
  5. Avoiding Solitude: An aversion to being alone can lead individuals to stay in toxic relationships or continuously seek company, even if it’s not in their best interest.
  6. Financial Escapism: Compulsive shopping, especially online, offers a temporary high. Acquiring new things can distract from emotional pain, but it often leads to financial stress and clutter, both physically and mentally.
  7. Workaholism: Immersing oneself in work, being available 24/7, and blurring the boundaries between professional and personal life can be a way to avoid confronting personal traumas.

Each of these behaviors, while offering temporary relief, can have long-term consequences. They can impact physical health, mental well-being, relationships, and overall quality of life. But it’s crucial to approach them with empathy and understanding. These aren’t mere “bad habits” but coping mechanisms born out of deep emotional pain. Recognizing them as such is the first step towards healing.

The Double-Edged Sword: Pros and Cons of Trauma Blocking

Trauma blocking, like many defense mechanisms, emerges as a response to intense emotional pain. It’s the psyche’s attempt to protect itself, to create a buffer against the rawness of trauma. However, while it might offer short-term relief, the long-term implications can be detrimental. Let’s explore the dual nature of trauma blocking, understanding both its allure and its pitfalls.

Pros of Trauma Blocking:

  1. Immediate Relief: Trauma blocking behaviors often provide an instant escape from distressing emotions or memories. This immediate relief can make daily functioning possible, especially in the aftermath of a traumatic event.
  2. Sense of Control: In the chaotic whirlwind of trauma, trauma blocking can offer a semblance of control. Engaging in specific behaviors, whether it’s shopping, eating, or working, can give individuals a feeling of agency in their lives.
  3. Social Camouflage: Engaging in certain trauma blocking behaviors, like workaholism or socializing, can help individuals blend in, avoiding questions or concerns from peers and loved ones.
  4. Temporary Boost: Some trauma blocking behaviors, like shopping or achieving work goals, can offer a temporary boost in self-esteem or happiness, providing a fleeting sense of accomplishment.

Cons of Trauma Blocking:

  1. Avoidance of Genuine Healing: While trauma blocking offers a temporary reprieve, it doesn’t address the root cause. The underlying trauma remains unresolved, often festering and intensifying over time.
  2. Physical and Mental Health Risks: Overindulgence in substances, compulsive eating, or overworking can lead to a host of health issues, from addiction and obesity to burnout and chronic stress.
  3. Strained Relationships: Trauma blocking behaviors can strain relationships. Whether it’s the distance created by workaholism or the volatility of substance abuse, loved ones often bear the brunt of these coping mechanisms.
  4. Financial Implications: Behaviors like compulsive shopping can lead to financial instability, adding another layer of stress and anxiety to an individual’s life.
  5. Reinforcement of Negative Patterns: Over time, trauma blocking behaviors can become deeply ingrained habits, reinforcing negative patterns and making genuine healing even more challenging.

In essence, trauma blocking is a double-edged sword. While it promises relief and protection, it often delivers further complications and challenges. Recognizing this duality is essential for anyone seeking to understand and overcome their trauma blocking behaviors.

Real-Life Stories: The Faces Behind Trauma Blocking

Behind every instance of trauma blocking lies a deeply personal story, a narrative of pain, resilience, and the human spirit’s quest for solace. These stories serve as poignant reminders that trauma blocking isn’t just a clinical term but a lived experience for many. Let’s delve into a few real-life accounts that shed light on the multifaceted nature of trauma blocking.

Shana’s Sanctuary in Food:

Shana grew up in an unstable household, marked by substance abuse and frequent relocations. A traumatic incident with a family friend further scarred her young psyche. Seeking comfort and control in a tumultuous world, Shana turned to food. What began as innocent trips to the store evolved into compulsive eating habits. For her, food wasn’t just nourishment; it was an armor against the world, a way to make herself less visible and, in her mind, less vulnerable.

Alex’s Digital Detachment:

A tech professional in his early 30s, Alex experienced a traumatic breakup that shattered his trust and self-worth. Instead of confronting his emotions, Alex immersed himself in the digital realm. Hours turned into days as he lost himself in video games, social media, and virtual realities. The digital world became his refuge, a place where he could reinvent himself, away from the pain of real-life betrayals.

Maria’s Retail Therapy:

Maria, a middle-aged teacher, faced trauma in the form of a sudden loss of her spouse. The void left behind was immense. To fill the emptiness and to momentarily distract herself from grief, Maria began shopping. New dresses, shoes, accessories—each purchase was a temporary balm, a fleeting moment of happiness. But as debts piled up, Maria’s “retail therapy” became another source of stress, a cycle she struggled to break.

Rohan’s Workaholic Ways:

Rohan was a survivor of a violent crime during his college years. The incident left him with deep-seated fears and anxieties. Determined to prove himself and drown out the memories, Rohan threw himself into his career. Late nights, early mornings, and weekends—work became his life. His dedication brought accolades and promotions, but it also distanced him from family, friends, and, most importantly, from addressing his trauma.

Each of these stories underscores the complexities of trauma blocking. The behaviors, while diverse, all stem from a common root—a desire to escape pain. By understanding and empathizing with these real-life narratives, we can better grasp the profound impact of trauma blocking and the urgent need for awareness, intervention, and healing.

Breaking the Cycle

Overcoming trauma blocking is a journey, often marked by introspection, challenges, and profound growth. While the path is unique for each individual, certain universal steps can guide those seeking to break free from the shackles of avoidance behaviors. Here’s a roadmap to navigate the journey towards healing:

Awareness and Acknowledgment:

The first step is recognizing the presence of trauma blocking behaviors. This involves introspection and often requires courage to admit that certain habits or patterns are not merely quirks but coping mechanisms stemming from deeper issues.

Understanding the Root Cause:

Delve into the underlying trauma or emotional pain that drives the avoidance behaviors. This might involve revisiting painful memories or experiences, but understanding the root cause is crucial for genuine healing. Our weekend-long P3 Retreat is an ideal place for those ready to look into the buried seeds underneath these behaviors.

Seek Professional Help:

Therapy, especially with professionals trained in trauma-informed care, can be invaluable. Therapists can provide tools, strategies, and a safe space to process and address trauma.

Establish Healthy Coping Mechanisms:

Replace trauma blocking behaviors with healthier alternatives. For instance, instead of compulsive shopping, one might take up journaling or art to express emotions. Instead of excessive drinking, one could engage in physical activities like yoga or meditation.

Set Boundaries:

If workaholism is a trauma blocking behavior, set clear work-life boundaries. If digital distractions are the issue, allocate specific times for digital detox. Boundaries can help create a balanced life and prevent relapse into old patterns.

Stay Connected:

Isolation can exacerbate trauma blocking behaviors. Stay connected with loved ones, friends, or support groups. Sharing experiences, seeking advice, or simply having someone to talk to can make a significant difference.

Educate Yourself:

Read books, attend workshops, or join online forums dedicated to understanding and overcoming trauma. Knowledge can empower and equip individuals with tools to navigate their healing journey.

Practice Self-compassion:

Healing is a process, and there might be setbacks along the way. Instead of self-criticism, practice self-compassion. Celebrate small victories and understand that every step, no matter how tiny, is progress.

Stay Present:

Mindfulness practices, such as meditation or deep breathing exercises, can help individuals stay anchored in the present moment, reducing the urge to escape into trauma blocking behaviors.

Revisit and Re-evaluate:

Healing is not linear. Regularly revisit and re-evaluate personal goals, coping mechanisms, and progress. Adjust strategies as needed and remain open to new approaches or insights.

Must Reads:

“The Body Keeps the Score” by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk is a seminal work on trauma and its effects on the body and mind. The book delves into how traumatic experiences shape our lives, affecting our bodies, behaviors, relationships, and even our perceptions of the world. Dr. van der Kolk, drawing from decades of research and clinical experience, explores innovative treatments from neurofeedback and meditation to sports and drama to help trauma survivors reclaim their lives.

The book underscores the idea that unresolved trauma manifests in various ways, often beyond our conscious awareness. Just as trauma blocking behaviors serve as coping mechanisms to deal with distressing memories or emotions, the book highlights how trauma can “reside” in our bodies, influencing our physical health, emotional responses, and daily behaviors. Both the article and the book emphasize the importance of recognizing, understanding, and addressing trauma for genuine healing and well-being.

“Waking the Tiger” delves deep into the somatic dimensions of trauma, exploring how traumatic experiences are not just mental but also physically stored in our bodies. Dr. Peter Levine introduces the “Somatic Experiencing” approach, a groundbreaking method that aids individuals in physically releasing trapped trauma. Drawing parallels with animals in the wild, the book offers insights into our innate capacity to rebound from distressing events

Relating to our article on trauma blocking, “Waking the Tiger” reinforces the idea that unresolved trauma manifests in both mind and body, influencing behaviors, emotions, and physical health. Just as trauma blocking behaviors serve as unconscious coping mechanisms, Levine’s work highlights how trauma can be physically “held” within us, necessitating a holistic approach to healing. The P3 Retreat, inspired by such principles, offers participants a sanctuary to explore and physically release pent-up emotions, further emphasizing the interconnectedness of body and mind in the trauma recovery journey.

Breaking the cycle of trauma blocking is undoubtedly challenging, but with determination, support, and the right tools, it’s entirely achievable. Remember, the journey towards healing is not about reaching a destination but about continuous growth, understanding, and self-love.


Trauma blocking, while a natural defense mechanism, can often lead us down paths of further pain and complication. It’s a testament to the human spirit’s resilience and its innate desire to protect itself from harm. However, true healing doesn’t lie in avoidance but in confrontation, understanding, and growth. As we’ve journeyed through the intricacies of trauma blocking, it’s evident that breaking free requires awareness, effort, and often, external support. But the rewards—authentic healing, self-awareness, and a life unburdened by the shadows of the past—are immeasurable. For anyone recognizing themselves in these patterns, remember: every moment is an opportunity for change, and it’s never too late to seek a path towards genuine healing and wholeness.

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